Just got another xmas email and thought I would share it since some of you have probably been there on a domestic before.

The Twelve Days of Christmas EMS Style...

On the First day of Christmas, my Dispatcher gave to me... Grandma who
fell
and hurt her knee...

On the Second Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...2 MG of
Narcan
for the out of work person who wants to end it all by taking her
Husband's
pain pills and won't tell me what she took and is feeling
suicidal....and
grandma who fell and hurt her knee.

On the Third day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....Three
stacked
shocks for the 88 year old man who instead of paying the neighbor kid 5
bucks to shovel his driveway, decided to do it himself and have the big
one
in the driveway...2 Mg of Narcan for the psycho
chick trying to off herself...and grandma who fell and hurt her knee..

On the Fourth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....4 AM in the
morning I have to go to the nursing home because someone has had the
flu for like 16 years and all of a sudden needs to go to the
hospital....NOW,...Three Stacked shocks for the full arrested
popsicle,2 MG
of Narcan for Morphine eating Momma...and Grandma who fell and hurt her
knee....

On the Fifth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...Five
minutes to eat.....4 AM shuttle call,Three stacked shocks, 2 MG of
Narcan,and Grandma who fell and hurt her knee....

On the Sixth Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....Six run
reports behind because the computer guy can't fix the system...Five Minutes to
eat!!!!!!!!!! 4 AM Shuttle, 3 zaps to the chest, gonna have a stomach
pumped,and grandma who fell and hurt her knee...

On the Seventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...Seven car
pileup while everyone was trying to beat the light so they can get into Wal
Mart the day after Thanksgiving thinking there is only 4 dancing Elmo
Dolls...six reports behind...Five minutes to eat.......4AM is way to early, 3 stacked shocks, 2 of Narcan Pushed,
and grandma who fell and hurt her knee....

On the Eighth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me....Eight
flights of steps to walk up to get the 400 pound person who is having shortness of
breath since LAST Christmas and can't walk...oh, and of course, the
elevator doesn't work...7 cars a crunching, six reports a writing, Five minutes
to eat. 4 AM shuttle,CPR in progress,2 MG of Narcan,and grandma who fell
and hurt her knee...

On the ninth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me Nine blankets
needed to cover up grandpa because he is freezing and we aren't even out of
the house yet but thinks he will get pneumonia and die for all of the 10
seconds we are outside...Eight flights of stairs,should have stayed home and
bought it off of Ebay, six reports I'm writing...Five minutes to eat.....What
the Hell time is it, should have paid the kid, 2MG of Narcan, and grandma
who fell and hurt her knee.

On the Tenth Day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...Ten Minutes
till I can get a bed in the ER because the nurses are busy figuring out who is
going to lunch next....Nine blankets needed, Hope the fire department is coming, 7 cars a crunching, six reports I need
to write, Five minutes to eat...Can't you wait till morning, stick a fork
in him, he's done, Man I hope she shuts up...and grandma who fell and hurt
her knee.

On the Eleventh day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me.... Eleven
times I tried to get the heat to work in the back of the truck
and maintainence won't take the truck in...ten minutes waiting, Nine
blankets needed, eight flights of steps to climb, Hope you have
Progressive, Give me a new ink pen...Five minutes to eat....4 AM is early, 3 Leads
all show he's dead, 2 MG won't touch her..and grandma who fell and hurt her
knee...

On the Twelth day of Christmas, my dispatcher gave to me...a 12 Gauge
IV needle that I put into the drunk 19 year old who tried to swing at
me...it's really freezing, Hope you choke on your sandwich, 9 blankets for
grandpa, How did you get up here in the first place, man your husband is gonna
be pissed, six reports STILL down...five minutes to eat...Better than
taking them back, Hope I recorded the code, Man, just pass out already...and
grandma who fell and hit her knee...

Merry Christmas!!

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