Clearly I have touched upon a sensitive subject with my American chums.
Sadly due to the chronic mistakes and misguided actions of your ancestors in 1777, when they commited the folly of declining our wise and benevolent rule, henceforth you have lacked our sophisticated guidance on the linguistic front.
I dont blame you, its all the fault of that crazed rebel George Washington !
Fear not, for there is still hope.
Buy English dictionaries, listen to popular music by the likes of the Beatles, watch English telly programmes via the satalite, read English books by noted authors such as Dickins, etc. Read and listen to English poetry and prose, we have a poet and playwright called Shakespeare who is really very good.
Under this expert tuition you may improve your language and communication skills.
As for drinking to excess! God fordid any self respecting and loyal English man or woman should indulge or even excel in drinking the demon booze.
We English are known for our temperance and sober behaviour.

As usual you guys from accross the lake still miffed about that little ruckus you lost in 1777. Your silly accent didn't help back then along with your arrogance. Still I got to go along with the english sound hooter thanyou dudes, but stick to my personal favorite the romanians. Even the males with accent sound alright, not as hot as a female though. From us yanks thanks for loosing that ruckus. I could stand myself with your accent or arrogance. I don't mind the irish brogue or the scottish. Can't understand them , but it sounds cool.

My dear Popsie, pray let us agree to disagree over the touchy subject of the regretable madness and treason of America in 1777 and the subsequent fall in standards over there.
All I will say is that we did not lose the "ruckus", we made a tactical retreat.
Ah, my chum ! The Scotish accent is indeed a thing of continuing wonder and bemusement to we English.
Truely it is an accent created deep within the bowels of hell by Satan himself. The evil one created it as a punishment to the English ears because he despised our excellence and superiority
Incomprehensable to anyone but a lunatic, this demented gaelic grunt is known to induce madness in anybody forced to endure it over long periods.<br><br>Post edited by: kevbutnobacon, at: 2007/01/24 11:06

Iguess speaking with a British accent could work. It makes you sound smart even if you have the intelligence quotient of a field mouse crack whore.